Want to thank Those of backpage for these naughty jokes... Naughty Joke Highlight hope you like these I thought most were pretty funny. Leave a comment tell me which you thought was the funniest. Think your joke tops any of these or you just think it's funny then leave it in a comment the funniest jokes win a prize Everyone knows a naughty joke can't wait to see what you have.


Four United States Presidents get caught up in a tornado and off they whirled to the land of OZ. They finally made it to the Emerald City and went to find the Great Wizard."

What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?"

Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly and said, "I've come for some courage."

"No Problem!" said the Wizard. "Who' s next?"

Richard Nixon stepped forward, "Well, I think I need a heart."

"Done!" says the Wizard.

"Who comes next before the Great and Powerful Oz?"

Up stepped Bush and said, "I'm told by the American people that I need a brain."

"No problem!" said the Wizard. "Consider it done."

Then there is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but he doesn't say a word.

Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "Well, what do you want?"

"IS DOROTHY HERE?"
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I woman gets home one afternoon and there's hubby sitting in the lazy boy watching a game and drinking a beer.
She walks up to him and slaps him in the face.
He looks up at her stunned and asks what's that for?
She said: "for twenty years of lousy sex"
She goes on up stairs to the bedroom. In a few minutes he gets out of the lazy boy and finds her in the bedroom lying down.
Walks up and slaps her in the face. Now she's got the stunned face and asks: "what was that for?".
"For knowing the difference!", the husband answered.
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There was a crazy old woman in a nursing home who would walk around lifting her night gown to reveal her wrinkled old pussy. She would yell out, "Super Pussy!!" and drop her gown back down.

One day, she met an old man in the hall, and raised her night gown yelling "Super Pussy!!"...the old man took a gander at the wrinkled, gray haired cooch and exclaimed, "I'll have the soup".
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding on the range one day. The two came to a stop, where Tonto jumped off his horse and put his head on the ground to listen to see if anyone was coming.
After a few seconds he rose and said, "Buffalo come."
The Lone Ranger was amazed and proclaimed "Damn you Indians are smart, how the hell did you know there were buffaloes coming?"
Tonto replied, "Face sticky."
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A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man comes into the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread - on the very top shelf - he politely says to the young woman, "I'd like some raisin bread, please."

She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young man with an excellent view, just as he surmised she would. When she comes down the ladder, he says he really should get two loaves as he is having company for dinner.

As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he orders a loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to watch the young woman climb up and down.

After many trips, she is tired, irritated and thinking she is really going to have to try the raisin bread herself. Once again she is up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for another male customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below. She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up at her who hasn't placed an order yet.

Thinking to save herself another trip up and down the ladder, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin, too?" "No," croaked the old man, "but it's a quiverin'..."
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Guy from Arkansas Takes his 12 yo daugher to the doctor...
When the doctor comes into the room he tells the doc. "I want her on birth control!"
The Doc looks at her chart and say's"She's only 12 ..Is she sexually active?"
The old man say's .."no..she just lays there like her mother !"
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When the good Lord was making the world, he called Man aside and bestowed upon him 20 years of normal sex life. Man was horrified, but the Creator refused to budge. Then the Lord called the Monkey and gave him 20 years. "But I don't need 20 years," said the Monkey. "Ten years is plenty." "May I have the other 10 years?" asked Man. The Monkey agreed. The Lord called the Lion next and also gave him 20 good years. The Lion also only wanted 10, so again Man asked for the remaining ten. Then came the Donkey, who was also granted 20 years. Like the others, 10 was more than enough. Man again asked for the spare ten years and got them. This explains why Man has 20 years of normal sex life, 10 years of monkeying around, 10 years of lion 'bout it, and 10 years of making an ass out of himself.
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